Monday, November 15, 2010

The Purpose of High Heels

This post will speak to the girls. If it speaks to you guys, that’s a whole other blog post…

I am such a girlie girl when it comes to shoes. I LOVE them. If I had unlimited funding, I would have a closet the size of Rhode Island filled with them.
Lately, I have been wearing a lot of flats. They are comfortable. I have said on many occasions “if I have comfortable shoes (and pockets) I can conquer the world.” Today, I have an interview for a job much closer to home so I decided to wear heels. And as I walked from the parking deck this morning, I contemplated why I did this. Hey, God talks to me in unique ways. I don’t question it. I just listen.

Do you notice that when you are wearing high heels you walk differently? You are more conscious of the way you walk. At least I am. I am not what you call graceful. That was a bit of an understatement. I tend to be klutzy, that is more accurate. So while in theory, I love high heels, I tend to shy away from them for fear of falling on my face. Going back to my long walk in from the parking deck this morning, I noticed that when I walk in high heels that I am more aware of how I walk, I tend to stand up straighter, to be perfectly honest while they make me nervous on one hand, they actually make me feel more confident at the same time.

I think walking with God is a lot like walking in high heels.

High heels take me out of my comfort zone.
High heels make me focus more on my walk.
High heels give me added height and confidence.
High heels tend to make me walk slower and with more purpose.

High heels are good for my walk, even though there is a hint of fear in wearing them. I don’t fear the shoes themselves…I love them. It’s me walking in the shoes I fear. Will I make them look bad? Will I fall and scuff them horribly? Will I completely embarrass myself want to hide?

Ever taken a leap of faith? Feels a lot like that.

I started listening to the audio book of Steven Furtick’s Sun Stand Still in my car this morning during the long commute. He talks about “audacious faith.” I don’t think it was a coincidence that I began listening to this and wore high heels for the first time in a long time today. I think they go together. At least in my mind they do.

God is calling me out. I am excited, but I have that hint of fear that I will fall on my face. But I am not worried...

Faith makes me more aware of my walk, stand taller and more confidently, and makes me rely on Him to carry me and be my Grace.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Story Behind the Video

You’ve seen the Via Dolorosa 2010 video, now here’s the behind the scenes…

This was my first completely solo project for FUEL…and what a way to begin. There were so many aspects to this weekend that it was daunting to attempt to capture it. At first, I wanted to portray the journey itself chronologically. Then it became more of a vision to simply tell the story up to that point. The video was to be shown during the Speed-the-Light service, which would be the conclusion of the weekend. FUEL got to lead the ministry that night, which only happens twice a year, so in my perfectionist state of mind, I wanted it to be as perfect as possible. And I wanted it to be an accurate portrayal of the magnitude of the experience thus far.

The first section I titled, Portraits of the Journey. I kept some of the chronological timeline in tact at the beginning. Primarily, because of the way we always begin—in prayer, all touching the cross, asking for the Spirit to open everyone up to what was about to happen in this journey. Aaron took some remarkable pictures during the opening leg of the walk. I was back at the church preparing the evening meal for the team. They made good time and logged about 4 miles, give or take. Aaron said they kept a great pace and were very cooperative and eager. I was so excited because two of our former students began the journey Friday as well. They had experienced it before and decided to return. I think that had to be especially encouraging to the students who were rookies this year.
The next section I titled, Warrior Prayer. That is what Aaron calls fervent prayer. But it took on a whole new meaning in this prayer meeting. I saw students take on demons from their past and slay them with the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony. After that experience, on my blog I could only type these words: “broken...undone...proud...humbled...anticipating...amazed...full...overflowing...” I think the pictures tell the story. And some of the stories are very private, so I will let them tell it alone.

The next part that accompanies the bridge of the song is the most powerful to me. It is raw, vulnerable honesty displayed by students who have every reason to want to hide. But instead they chose to be bold and brave and stand up to their past and become a catalyst for other’s healing and victory. As I took the photos for this section, especially the last ones, I fought back tears so hard. As soon as they students left my sight, I wept openly. For so many reasons…I was humbled to be in the presence of such power and anointing that was upon them. I was grieving for the pain these students, MY students had been through in their young lives. I was so proud that they had been so bold in declaring their testimony with their only gain being the freedom of others. As I snapped the last photo, God spoke so clearly and said, “this [these photographs being shown] is going to set some people free.” Such a humbling, powerful moment that I cannot fully convey even so many days later. It was overwhelming. It nearly brought me to my knees right there on the side of the road. It still overwhelms me right now. Wow, God is so good.

Lastly, we wanted to “finish strong,” another of Aaron’s favorite sayings. We wanted the last pictures to show determination, resolve, victory. That is was not the end of an event but the beginning of a movement. They were a start but the pics that came later from the closing service Sunday night continue the story. While they are not included in the video, they are now proudly displayed in Aaron’s office, framed, and included in an earlier blog post (Via Dolorosa 2010 Weekend).

I recount this as a reminder to myself and those who will view this video as a “stone of remembrance.” Not of an event with an ending, but a revolution at its genesis.