Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Church Kid Finds Jesus

So I’m on this new adventure…

Living the Christian life is never boring. But then there are times and seasons where you are hanging on like you’re on a roller coaster. But I love roller coasters. There’s the adrenaline rush and a tiny bit of fear of the unknown that ramps up your prayer life. Which leads me to my current adventure…

Let me backtrack a bit…I have, as far back as I remember, known about God and He has been part of my life. I have attended church almost my whole life. Pentecostal churches, no less. So I have been exposed to the spectrum of experiences. And I have been a party to the spectrum of experiences. So this should tell you why this season I am experiencing right now is so
overwhelming, humbling, amazing. It probably shouldn’t be because I think this
is the very reason we were all created. Maybe I should be more amazed at the fact that I have finally submitted myself fully to all that God wants to do, because that means I had to slow down and take time to listen.

Can I be perfectly honest? I have seen people in churches all my life that were, well…unique. Again, in Pentecostal churches you tend to see it all—from the dwellers of far left field showing out to the absolutely awesome that could not be anything less than God Almighty showing up. So many church people have said, “The Lord told me…” and then went on to prove it might not have been the voice of the Lord they heard. I always wanted to be a person who used that phrase really sparingly, so I would not put words in the Lord’s mouth that might just be bad pizza from last night. Well, here lately, I have been opening my mouth and the words just come forth as if I never spoke them, but rather Someone through me. And it’s not just speaking, it’s typing, too. I put my fingers to the keyboard and they just come. Facebook is loaded with God statements and quotes. I go back and read some and marvel, because I know I could never say or even imagine those things.

My desire has always been to please God. That’s really not such a lofty goal. I think my desire has intensified to not only please God but to know Him intimately. In a way that is seamless. More than ever my prayer is that He increase and that I may decrease.

I guess the part that makes this worth blogging about is that I am 35 years old and have been a “good church kid” my whole life. I was married to a guy in Master’s Commission. He’s been a youth pastor for over 10 years. I have preached to students about this very thing but never truly, madly, deeply experienced until now. You cannot imagine how it hurts to admit that. That’s when I hear the line from the song, “How He Loves:” I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us.

If I could convey the all-encompassing joy I feel to be falling in love with the Savior of the world, I could convince you not to let a lifetime go by before you fall for Him.

1 comment:

  1. "When the Spirit of supplication comes upon you and you began to pray in faith, then My Spirit of grace will come flooding into your life. Through that channel of prayer I will, by My power, accomplish in your life what needs to be done, that which you cannot do alone." Zechariah 12:10

    Saw this posted by a FB friend and I think it fits perfectly.